It’s Cheap

Getting a sound system and plugging in an iPod has got to be cheaper than a DJ. I own an iPod, I can get music and make a playlist and ask my friend to run it. And everyone will be able to hear it through my rented speakers. The cost to rent a great sound system is just $650 a day. And yeah, you may have to rent it for the whole weekend but they’ll probably won’t.  Oh, and lights?  Lights may cost about the same, $650, but maybe not.  And who’ll set it all up?  Your friends, right?  And make the right playlist for everyone to enjoy (at the best volume)?  A friend. And buy the music? You? It’s alright if the microphone has a cable, we’ll just work around that on the night of.  And when it’s time for the grand entrance we’ll know what to do cause we’ve seen it done on TLC a gazillion times.  Besides, I’d rather spend that money on flowers or food or alcohol.   But how much have I saved?

Total Spent:  $850-$900        ( Sound & Lighting:  $800    Music $50-$100     Friend:  $0)

      Truth:  People go to parties to be entertained and guided through the event effortlessly.

Anyone can do it

Just like these publications and websites suggest, asking a friend is the best thing to do.  After all, they know how to welcome guests and inform them of the evenings’ events.  They were informed by you of all the things you want your guests to experience.  And they can speak clearly and warmly on the microphone to gather attention, deliver a well-written script with all eyes on them and pass the spotlight to you throughout the evening, all while taking the planning stress off your shoulders so you can be in the moments of your life and not worried about what’s next or if everyone is enjoying themselves.  Pick a friend who is also diverse in music knowledge, beats per minute, or what songs flow into the next.  In this era of instant music no one wants to hear dead space between songs, or a fast song fading out into a slow song that’s way too loud.  Actually, considering an iPod, you can’t beat mix, match, or even fade two songs together with an iPod so nevermind.  And lastly, ask yourself, “Do I want my friend to work all night or actually enjoy my big day with me?”

Truth:   Anyone can be a “DJ”.  Entertainers have talent. True professionals take their work seriously.  And they’re worth it.

We’re on a Budget

My wedding was cheap. CHEAP!  My wife’s dress was $125.  We were married on the beach where the officiant was $200 and the flowers and cake we got at Albertson’s on the day of.  And even though our reception back in Oklahoma was low-key, with less than 100 guests, finger foods, cash bar and no party favors, we had a DJ and people danced and we all had a great time, with no dance floor lights!  Total spent: $2100 for everything.  The most expensive service we had:  The entertainment.  Why?  Because that’s what made the party.

I’m all for a budget.  I also believe every couple is “high end” in one category or other.  Most would agree that splurging on things that add little to your guests’ overall experience isn’t smart.  Yet many skimp on the talent that adds so much, if not most, to the entire event (including your sanity).

Flowers look amazing. The venue is important.  Photography is crucial for memories. The cake is tradition. And the food better taste great but it’s to give us energy to DANCE!   And great entertainers bring out the best in you and your crowd, especially when you help.  Everything comes back to one thing…being in the moment.  And people want to remember your event for the great experience they shared with you.  No matter your stance on alcohol, check this out; imagine investing what you would have spent on alcohol on your entertainment and see what happens.  Many could invite a well known recording artist to perform for their wedding for the same amount they invest on an open bar. I’m not a teetotaler, and this is your big moment, but the days go by so fast. It’s nice to remember this one most of all.

Truth:  People won’t remember what you said or did but they will remember the way you made them feel.

So you saved $200-$1500+. Was it worth it?  Most former brides-to-be who rented a sound system and used an iPod were less than happy with the results.  Guests were ill-informed, unsure of what was happening next, lost, and confused. This led to them looking at their watches, or worse, the back door.  The four hour reception was finished in two, with lots of food left over.  And it doesn’t affect your marriage at all, but it may affect your memory of your wedding day.  Here’s an example of one wedding reception with an iPod substitute.  This overall wedding budget was substantial. They hired a quality photographer and videographer. And both of the professionals captured this

instead of this:

If you would truly like your brother to be the master of ceremonies for your reception, contact me and I’ll send you books that discuss the etiquette and functions of a proper master of ceremonies.  You deserve a great experience to complement your beautiful wedding and reception.  Make it Great!

December 30th, 2011

Katherine and Ryan have been destined for each other since their eyes first met.  Ryan knew this from the beginning…kindergarten. But Katherine wanted to wait until they grew up.  Finally, after being raised by some of the best parents anyone could dream of, everyone gathered to witness these two exchange sacred vows and rings.  Directly after, all guests were anxious to make it to Galliardia to begin the celebration.

After the grand entrance and first dance, Ryan and Katherine fed each other the cake they’d just cut together. Keeping in the spirit of getting to the dance floor as fast as possible, we moved the focal point back to hear Katherine’s Matron of Honor (and sister), Meredith, toast the newlyweds.  Rehearsed, poised and in control, Meredith kept the audience engaged and laughing.  We all smiled as she shared a special moment with her sister and welcome her to wedded bliss.

Then it was Cole’s turn.  Cole, Ryan’s Best Man, had the brilliant idea of writing his notes on his iPhone. This was okay before he came to the actual toast.  But when he had a glass of wine, a phone and a microphone, Ryan had to step in.

Soon after, Katherine’s father took the microphone and poured his heart out.  That night, everyone in that ballroom could hear exactly how much he loved his little girl.  And then, he took his daughter’s hand and they shared a dance together to “Butterfly Kisses”.  It’s been heard thousands of times, but for them, it was the perfect song.

Then it was time to DANCE!

Ryan’s mother getting down to everyone else’s surprise!

An Oklahoma Wedding at its Best

And of course they did the Wobble!

The night went by so fast.  But the memories will live on forever.

Ryan and Katherine – Thank you for trusting me with your wedding reception.  I can’t wait to see your love grow through the years.  Only the best    ~Chasen

Huge thanks to Kevin Paul Photography for these images – and for being so great to work with.

Have you ever had a service given to you for free only to be shocked with the outcome? Have you ever bought the cheapest refrigerator, pair of shoes, cell phone or furniture only to determine that there was a reason it was cheaper?

We’ve all had these experiences, and most likely we’ve experienced it multiple times in our lives. In all of my years in the wedding industry, I’ve heard countless wedding professionals get upset that a new competitor, or even a longtime existing competitor, is undercutting their prices or charging far too less for their product. Why is this?

Oftentimes, when someone is brand new into the business or into the market, they sell cheaper. They’re working to get more business and build their revenue. There are also times where vendors that have been in the market for years are charging less or undercutting because they’re desperate for the business. What do most of these vendors have in common?

Either they have a lack of experience or an inferior product. Let’s face it, if their product or service was stellar, they would charge more for it…just like everything in life. We’ve all been the new kid on the block. We’ve all been in a place where we’ve had to keep lowering prices to sell our services, but oftentimes, there was a reason for it.

When you go to the AT&T or Verizon store to look for a cell phone, you can purchase a phone for less than $50 or may even get one for free with their service. It can make calls; you can even text – although not in a timely fashion. It won’t necessarily be able to surf the web, download or use apps, use GPS to assist you, and you won’t be able to use it for social media and more. It may make you feel good for saving money versus a more expensive phone, but ultimately, in the long run you won’t be able to enjoy all of the features available to you as with a smart phone.

Yesterday when talking to my sister-in-law, I asked her how she liked her new car. She said, “I wish I would have gotten the automatic lift gate.” She realizes that while she saved a few hundred dollars, she’s now “stuck” with a car that doesn’t give her everything she wanted or needed. Was saving that small amount of dollars worth it?

We all love to save money. I haven’t met one person that doesn’t. The question is, are you saving money at the expense of a return on investment?

Whether your purchase doesn’t have all the features you may want or need, whether you end up spending more to fix the mistakes of the cheaper product or service, or whether you miss out on an opportunities by going with the cheapest option, you have to weigh all the factors involved with your purchasing power.

You also must weigh the other side. Is going with the most expensive option the best choice? Not necessarily. If you’re simply paying for a brand over results, it may not be the best option either.

Let me be blunt. You must look past brands and pricing to get what you really need or want. Always compare apples to apples. Look at the product or service and get all of the facts. Make your decisions based on those facts.

For example, when you’re buying a refrigerator, look at the size of the unit, the energy usage (to determine if it’s going to cost you more to operate or to see if you’ll save money in the long run), seek out information about longevity, compare warranties, and more. Once you have all the information, then, look at the pricing. Compare the price to the facts you’ve collected to find your best buy.

The same is true for advertising. When shopping advertising options, you must have all the facts. Again, your sales potential is dependent solely on your message plus your reach plus your frequency. What is the reach of your advertising packages? How many books are printed? How much actual traffic is going to the web site (and compare that to the amount of “fluff” on the web site…in other words, does the web site promote its advertisers prominently to ensure they get the most traffic)? How many leads are available? How are those leads delivered? Will you get access to email addresses? Where does the company rank on search engines? Is the company known and trusted? Is it a name that brides know and trust? These are just some of the facts you’ll need to collect before you begin considering price.

Once you’ve collected the facts, look at the pricing. If you’re looking to work with someone that seems to be undercutting or giving their advertising away, ask yourself why. It’s okay to put a mix of less expensive advertising to further your reach and frequency, but if you depend solely on a company with less of a reach, you’ll see less return.

If you’re choosing advertising based on what’s the most expensive, you may just be paying for a brand and not the traffic that you’re looking for. Spend money with the cheapest advertising in town and you will quickly learn that while you’re saving $100 a month, you’re actually throwing away the money you’re spending due to a lack of large returns AND you’re losing even more by not being present where brides are actually considering her vendors.

Be smart. Do your homework. Get the facts. Look at traffic expectations. Find a solid mix of multiple resources to promote yourself. In the markets I work in, the wedding professionals that are making six figures are the vendors that are advertised everywhere the brides are shopping. They have the most top-of-mind awareness and brides are showing up to book them because they trust them. Find your perfect mix of advertising with results that will work for you and that fits within your budget. Don’t make the decision based on how you feel…base your choice on facts and what you know!

- This insightful and well-written piece was taken from The Perfect Wedding Guide Newsletter I receive each month.

Standards — Think “Old School” <–not the movie

• The Beach Boys “God Only Knows” (hear it)
• Shuggie Otis’ “Strawberry Letter 23″ (hear it)
• Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get it On” (hear it)
• Otis Redding’s “That’s How Strong My Love Is” (hear it)
• Van Morrison’s “Sweet Thing” (hear it)
• The Zombies’ “This Will Be Our Year” (hear it)
• The Kinks “Waterloo Sunset” (hear it)
• Toussaint McCall’s “Nothing Takes The Place Of You” (hear it)
• Al Green’s “Love and Happiness” (hear it)

More than just a good tune…The lyrical gems

• (Ariel’s) Me’Shell Ndegéocello’s “Love Song #1″ (hear it)
• Ben Folds’ “The Luckiest” (hear it)
• Peter Gabriel’s “In Your Eyes” (hear it)
• Massive Attack’s “One Love” (hear it)
• Mazzy Star’s “Fade Into You” (hear it)
• Portishead’s “All Mine” (hear it)
• Lou Reed’s “Perfect Day” (hear it)

Wonky ‘n Fun

• Adam Sandler’s “I Wanna Grow Old With You” (hear it)
• The “Family Matters” theme song “As Days Go By” (hear it)
• Doris Day’s “A Bushel And A Peck” (hear it)
• The Velvet Underground’s “I’m Sticking with You” (hear it)
• The Band’s “Cripple Creek” (hear it)
• Toto’s “Africa” (hear it)
• Sam Hart’s “Mario Kart Love Song” (hear it)

Indie

• (Megan’s) Pavement’s “We Dance” (hear it)
• Jon Brion’s “Here We Go” (hear it)
• Neko Case’s “This Tornado Loves You” (hear it)
• Sufjan Stevens’ “The Dress Looks Nice On You” (hear it)
• Wilco “I’m the Man Who Loves You” (hear it)
• The Cure’s “Friday I’m in Love” (hear it)
• Bright Eyes’ “First Day of my Life” (hear it)
• Nick Drake’s “Northern Sky” (hear it)
• The Pixie’s “La La Love You” (hear it)

SUPER Indie

• Bird and the Bee “My Love” (hear it)
• Obi Best “Nothing Can Come Between Us” (you can get a free mp3 here)
• The Moldy Peaches’ “Anyone Else but You” (hear it)
• The Mountain Goats’ “No Children” (hear it) — yes, some people find this song controversial!
• Neutral Milk Hotel’s “I Love How You Love Me” (hear it)
• She & Him’s “I Was Made For You” (hear it)
• Captain Beefheart’s “I’m Glad” (hear it)

Jazzin’ — along the same lines of Michael Buble

• Sara Gazarek’s “Makes Me Feel This Way” (hear it) or her version of “You Are My Sunshine” (hear it)
• Harry Connick Jr.’s “Come By Me” (hear it)
• Kurt Elling’s “I Feel So Smoochie” (hear it)
• Jamie Cullum’s “I Think, I Love” (hear it)
• Renee Olstead’s ” A Love That Will Last” (hear it)

Upbeat Swingin’

• (Shrie’s) Chuck Barry’s “You Never Can Tell” (hear it)
• Barry Louis Polisar’s “All I Want Is You” (hear it)
• Sly & the Family Stone’s “You Can Make It If You Try” (hear it)
• Huey “Piano” Smith’s “Little Liza Jane” (hear it)

Laidback Easy-Peasy

• Mayer Hawthorne’s “Make Her Mine” (hear it)
• Cat Power’s version of “Sea of Love” (hear it)
• Peter Gabriel’s “Book of Love” (hear it)
• Air’s “Playground Love” (hear it)
• The Fruit Bat’s “When U Love Somebody” (hear it)

Dark and Romantic

• Judas Priest’s “Angel” (hear it)
• Rammstein’s “Ohne Dich” (hear it with English translation)
• Type O Negative’s “Love You to Death” (hear it)
• Stone Temple Pilots’ “Still Remains” (hear it)
• Incubus’ “Monuments and Melodies” (hear it)
• Killswitch Engage’s “My Curse” (hear it)
• HIM’s “Join Me In Death” (hear it)
• Fabio Hager Sextet’s “Por Una Cabeza” (hear it) <–Tango

As in our last post for “Non-sappy father/daughter dance songs” if you’ve got any suggestions, feel free to leave them in the comments.

A wedding day is the perfect example. You’d like to share your special day with your social circles and those who can’t attend, but when does it cross the line?

I’ve read much on this subject from experts in the wedding industry and even a recent bride to try and establish ground rules for using social media tastefully throughout your big day.

Here is their advice. Comment below to let me know your personal thoughts and even your experiences with this latest form of wedding etiquette.

1. Pre-Wedding Preparations 

Introducing wedding attendees online before the big day can help you avoid any day-of awkwardness. This will give people the chance to break the ice and virtually get to know a little about everyone else.

“Help your wedding guests mix, mingle and stay in the loop with a private social network created just for engaged couples, like OneWed’s Wedding Pre-Party,” suggests Azure Nelson, the marketing manager and editorial director of OneWed.

“Wedding Pre-Party allows wedding guests to see who’s invited to the wedding (and lets singles scope potential “hotties” out before they meet face-to-face), interact and post comments on a wall, upload photos from pre-wedding parties and post-wedding, and much more.”

If you’d like to skip the specialized sites route, you could also create a pre-party on Facebook using its “Groups” functionality. This can be a clever way to avoid cluttering the news feeds of folks not invited to the wedding, both before and after the event.

2. Stay Offline During the Ceremony 

“We’ve all seen these goofballs that bring social media right to the forefront of their ‘I dos,’ and in my opinion, there’s nothing tasteful about this,” says Nelson. “Tastefully using social media at your wedding means incorporating it before and after the actual wedding. The wedding ceremony should be off limits.”

There’s plenty of time during a wedding day to connect with the online world. Doing so during the ceremony is definitely not the right time for the principle players or even the guests. Mindy Howard of@TweetMyWedding has some advice for attendees:

“Be polite. Don’t tweet when you should be participating and listening, specifically during the liturgy or the ceremony.”

3. Appoint a Chief Tweeter 

If you want your wedding to be recorded for posterity in 140-character posts, then let people know and even encourage them to get involved by creating a hashtag.

“Tell your bridal party it’s OK to tweet!” says Howard. “Create a hashtag for sharing your event. This will make all tweets from your day easy to find later on and helps to create a feeling of celebration for your guests.

“Print up some tented cards on your menu or program with the hashtag for your event and encourage your guests to send you their well wishes, touching moments and snap shots. These are moments that otherwise would have been missed.”

You can take this even further by appointing a “Chief Tweeter” — or several — to document the day.

“Have an Official Tweeter and Well-Wishing Station — have one or more ‘Tweets of Honor.’ Have some technologically obsessed friends? This is a great job for them! These folks can quietly tweet from a corner as not to be obtrusive or can come out of the shadows and provide you with a full on social media guest book station,” says Howard.

And you can even incorporate social media into the more traditional parts of the day. In addition to reading cards and messages out loud from family and friends that couldn’t make it, why not read messages from Facebook and Twitter too?

“Have your Tweet of Honor compile some well wishes that have been tweeted out and share them during the toasts. This can be a very fun twist on the traditional toasting time,” suggests Howard.

4. Set Up a Social Media Station 

There’s a way to keep a traditional look and feel to a wedding celebration and still make room for social media. A “social media station” is a place where those who want to connect or comment online can do so, without forcing the issue onto the uninterested.

For the particularly geeked out crowd, setup a small area complete with a laptop and an external monitor.  Invite guests to come by, tweet their well-wishes and/or watch others’ tweets scroll the screen.  Some may view that as tacky, but it’s your wedding and, when done tastefully, can be yet another fun way to celebrate this happiest of days.

This can also work for photos, as well as text-based communications. A live stream of photos from the event can be a fun way to engage people and encouraging sharing.

“Ditch the tacky disposable cameras and set up a shared Flickr account so that guests can upload any photos they may take,” says Liene Stevens, former wedding planner and CEO of Splendid Communications.

“This doesn’t replace hiring a professional photographer, of course, but it does allow you and your guests to share in their view of your wedding,” Stevens says.

Jodie Welton, a founding partner of Connected PR who got married this summer, went down this route and had a huge projector showing images of the day for her evening reception, as well as a separate area for filming.

“We thought it was important that the guests are absorbed in the wedding and that social media enhanced the experience, rather than distract from it. So, to keep it ‘away from the party’ we had a designated area for guests to be filmed,” explains Welton.

“The DJ also took pictures and uploaded to Flickr there and then. As a nice touch, he then projected the Flickr stream across the walls so guests saw images of themselves. The DJ gave everyone the Flickr URL so all of the guests could view and add to it later.”

5. Live Stream for Those Who Can’t Make It 

Thanks to the wonders of modern tech, nowadays you can share your special moments with people who can’t make it in person. Ustream is one such site that can help you share your ceremony with those well-wishing from afar.

“Live weddings give our users an opportunity to experience Ustream in a completely new way. It’s very exciting to see our broadcasters offer unfiltered access to the best moments of their lives. That’s one of the many reasons we’re here,” says Ustream’s Tony Riggins.

Howard notes it’s a particularly useful option for anyone getting married abroad or far from home.

“The use of Ustream to share (publicly or privately) your day live online for friends and family that cannot make it to your ceremony is especially useful for those having destination weddings. If Great Grandmother cannot make it, she can still virtually attend and share in your joy,” Howard says.

And don’t think this means you’re spilling private moments all over the web; there are ways to make this a private process, Stevens points out:

“If you have loved ones who are unable to attend the wedding, collaborate with your videographer on showing a live feed of the ceremony via Ustream or another online video streaming service. You can make these password protected if you’d like, so that you can share your joy only with people you know and not random Internet strangers.”

Welton streamed some of her special day to far-flung elderly relatives, and even got them involved in the speeches:

“Some of my family in Italy couldn’t make it to our wedding and we wanted them to get a sense of our big day. Being able to stream live video and pictures meant they could get a more authentic sense of the atmosphere. Amazingly, they even broadcast a live message (they are in their 80s!) after the speeches.”

6. Don’t Forget to Enjoy the Moment 

“Changing a Facebook status from engaged to married just after the vows is a growing trend, but don’t miss taking in those moments with the people actually there with you. Put down the phone and enjoy the company of those who came to celebrate with you,” says Stevens. 

You only get one wedding day — if things go as planned, anyway — so don’t waste any precious moments you could be interacting with real-life people. Rest assured anyone who is following your day online will certainly understand your priorities.

“When you’re one of the major participants, you need to unplug for the day and focus on the people who are actually there with you. Weddings go by in a flash anyway, and you don’t want to sacrifice seeing your crazy Uncle Wally doing The Worm because you’re crafting some clever tweet. Leave that to your guests,” says Sally Kilbridge, BRIDES deputy editor. “In fact, part of the fun of weddings nowadays is seeing how fast they can make that video of Uncle Wally go viral.”

That, of course, is a whole other story…

________________________________________

Much of this content is courtesy of Mashable with added content from me.  Knowing we have such an array of ideas we already offer our clients, this is a growing segment that shouldn’t be ignored or pushed aside due to its immediacy in recent times.  As suggested, this is best kept to those NOT in the wedding party and those who are technically savvy and those who can enjoy the real-life moments along with sharing them online for others to enjoy.  As with everything, take it with a grain of salt and an ounce of humility.

But remember, because it is such a blur (for everyone), being able to re-live those moments at any given moment can be priceless (for everyone).

Until next time…

Recently, I read an article by the Flirty Blog, after reading another colleague’s blog post regarding the same issue, and decided it was too important a topic to pass on.  The All Important Matter of “PRICE”!

There is little to add on this subject these two posts haven’t covered and I encourage you to read those posts.  But for those who are on a budget and/or don’t see the importance of hiring a trusted source for entertainment but still think they can have a wedding reception that guests stay for (and enjoy) I have one piece of advice:  - Hire a Trusted and Reputable Entertainer or Don’t Hire One at All!

Guests come to celebrate. Celebrating is a party and by definition a party requires entertainment. Entertainment requires Talent. Talent requires an investment of time and money.

See how many "ME TOO" companies there are.

I could go into a tirade regarding the majority of DJ companies available to you but I’m investing MY time for my current clients who are trusting me to give my absolute best for their once-in-a-lifetime event.  More than anything, I wanted to offer another link to these two excellent blogs aforementioned and thank them for their well-written posts.

Until next time, remember…you probably want Creme Brulee. So don’t settle for Jell-O.

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